Man, I wish I was gay. Life would be so much cooler if I was in a relationship with a guy. Just imagine, there'd never be an argument about what to watch on TV. The game! If there's no game on then the selection automatically runs down through action flicks, nature shows on sharks, StarTrek, classic cartoons and That 70's Show (of course my favorite character would probably be Fez then but I can handle that).
If there wasn't anything on the boob tube we could always pop in a porno. What guy doesn't like porno? And since there's no gals around there would definitely be a nice sized collection. Sure, it would be gay porno but that's what I'd be into anyway.
And we'd be watching it on a massive TV. Guys know how to prioritize purchases in ways that women just can't grasp:
Gay Lover: Um, hello? The TV of course. Don't be such a dumbass.
Food would be so much simpler. No matter who ends up going to the grocery store the correct items would be purchased. Steaks, beer, maybe some munchies.
GL: I thought I'd grill up a couple steaks and wash 'em down with some brew.
Me: Again?
GL: Yeah.
Me: Awesome.
Sex would be so much easier too. I mean, come on! That's all we guys ever really think about. Never again would I have to worry about not getting a blow job when I want one.
GL: Um, hello? I'm a guy. Of course I want to screw.
Watching the game on my big screen TV, beer in hand, gay lover giving me a fine blow job...that's guy heaven right there.
Man, it sucks being straight.
(Blame Credit for this one is 100% on G, my chief idea man.)
