An original composition for your enjoyment. Don't read this one to the kids:
That pole to the north is a nasty old place
Where elves take their turns sitting on Santa's face.
Mrs. Claus lays around passing her gasses
while reindeer jerk off with corn cobs in their asses.
The geese are all too scared to sit
They know if they eat they'll end up on a spit.
The turkeys, all hens, have now formed a coven
To keep their collective ass from the oven.
The angel atop the ol' Christmas tree
Performs sexual favors, of course there's a fee.
In the workshop they're making some last minute dolls
but the Barbies are mad 'cause the Kens have no balls.
The Kringle's away, in his bathroom he's toking
The Feds want to know what it is he is smoking.
Rudolph and friends might be ready to fly
But Santa got baked and is already high.
The night wears on long but no Santa appears
So the reindeer put back the corn cobs in their rears.
The elves check in and find Santa a snoozin'
They vacate their jobs and start seriously boozin'.
Will Christmas have to be cancelled then?
No presents, no tree, and no Christmas hen?
What happens when it turns out Santa don't give a fart?
Don't worry kids, there's always Wal-Mart.
(See the full post at Ho ho holy shit!)
Ha ha! Have a great Christmas, Jim.