I recently revived what was a pretty good practical joke on my wife.

I taught the kid to say a couple a phrases:

“My mommy’s still on the sauce.”

“My mommy drinks too much gin.”

I had the kid primed to spit these phrases out at the grocery store, play dates and such and trust me, it was effective. Right up until the retaliation came.

I was picking the kid up from practice and I was the only guy there and this whole sewing circle of mommies had me cornered and I was being a real swell guy until the kid walked up and shouted, “My Daddy’s medicine is called whiskey!”

I was appalled, but it could have been worse. My wife’s fairly devious and it could have been something like, “My daddy’s got the crabs again!”

I don’t know whether to escalate this or surrender.