So at 8:30am this morning I read some economic data that I can only describe as fascinating. It's kind of like a jungle gym for your mind. You read the report, and it's a framework that you just sit and mull over.

Okay - so the trade gap is narrowing - which means even though we're still importing more than we export, we've actually begun to import less and/or export more in the last quarter. Which is good, because that will increase our GDP.

So here we are, using less of 'other peoples stuff' to run our economy, and it's still growing. The real interesting part is this:

Imports of industrial supplies fell 3.2% to $61.6 billion, including an 8.9% drop in petroleum imports.
The average price of oil rose to a record $89.85 a barrel, but demand fell 9% to 8.97 million barrels a day.

We're using 10% less energy. Think about that. Then think about the ridiculous increase in oil prices of late. And you wonder if maybe there's an oil bubble expanding, what with Iran floating 28 million barrels of oil.

Is this an indication of some kind of 'lean' capitalism? Are consumers going from big spenders to keen shoppers? Is this the invisible hand at work here, as lean operations become a response to inflated energy prices?

It'll never happen, mainly because it would trample the liberties of billions; but my dark side is beginning to wonder if we need to require people to take a test and get licensed to surf the web.

There's a whole lot of good stuff out here, but there's an equal amount of scams, garbage, revisionism and sensationalism as well. You only have to look as far as current events to see it.

Take the 'rice shortage'. I mean, give me a break. I went into Walmart today and the shit was a buck-fifty a bag, and the shelf was full. What's stupid is that people in the US are hoarding the shit. What first world citizen fucking lives on rice anyways? If the industrialized world went without rice for a month, would it kill us? It's not like rice is irreplaceable. If it wasn't on the shelf, you could always eat hominy, grits, polenta, or risotto. Or, you know, a fucking PB&J. But no, these people hear there's a rice shortage and what do they do - they go down to the store and load up. Dude, now that I think about it, rice isn't really even a staple food for me. If I had to give it up for an extended period of time so that folks in far-flung places who do consider it a staple could eat; it would have zero effect on me. I eat so little of it now, that if it disappeared from the shelf I wouldn't even notice. It would be like Bentley going out of business or something.

Then there was the whole global warming thing. Now they're saying the globe is actually getting colder. It must be because Al Gore finally converted that horrible energy hog of a mansion he's got to something that doesn't need its own power grid. What a dickhole. But that wasn't our first response to global warming, was it kiddies? Nope, everyone lined up to punch their ticket on the Alarmist Express for a rip roarin' ride straight to the edge of sanity. There were a few people who actually began to look at the data, and the hipocrisy, and the politics of the situation and they caught a lot of flack for going against the grain.

Seriously, before anyone should be allowed to purchase a modem or sign up with an ISP, they should have to show some kind of license that proves they've taken an internet safety class. You know, one that would explain how shit gets out of hand, and that just because the internet is the fastest way to spread the word, doesn't mean that the word is neccesarily worth a damn.

Jesus people. Get your shit together, pull your head out of your ass and behave like rational human beings! Now go out there and make me proud!

The Wife had to work tonight, so we set the DVR to record Hell's Kitchen for her. For some reason, the damn thing wouldn't record. It's a cable company-supported peice, and they recently upgraded the software on it and ever since it's been a little wonky. Anyways, I decided to take notes for her, and write up the episode so she wouldn't miss anything.

I present it to you here in the style of a video game walkthrough. If you're not familiar with the genre, you're a geriatric or a Luddite, or both.

Now, what follows may not be funny if you've never seen the show. I'm also willing to take the risk that it may not be funny regardless; but I don't care.